Wishes Always Backfire!

Yes, the classic Failed Wishes forum game is being brought to ETF! This is a particularly popular forum game where the above poster makes a wish, such as:

"I wish the next Warriors book came out today!"

You grant the wish, but make it have a negative consequence, such as:

"Granted, but your all-time favorite character gets killed off!   "

Then you wish for something else and let the chain continue!

I'll start:

I wish I didn't have to wake up so early!

Granted, but you have to wake up to extremely loud cymbals every day!

I wish Dipper was real!

Granted, but he'd rather be with Wendy!

I wish I had a flamingo!

Granted, but it's just a lawn flamingo!

I wish Dipper didn't want to be with Wendy!

Granted, but that just starts a much weirder ship that doesn't involve you!

I wish Spring Break was longer!

Granted, but it's only longer by five seconds!

I wish Dipper wanted to be with me!

Granted, but his personality becomes warped, and he becomes a non-stop crazy chatterbox who never makes any sense!

I wish I had a GIF collection!

Granted, but it glitches your computer!

I wish Dipper wanted to be with ME instead

Granted, but he wants to be with you during the most embarrassing moment of your life!

I wish for a tuna. o3o

Granted, but he died in the air.

I wish for a giant marshmallow Peep!

Granted, but it's so giant it falls on top of you and crushes you.

I wish that normal Dipper wanted to be with me!

Granted, but it only lasts 2 seconds and you have no memory of it later.

I wish I wasn't so bored!

Granted, but now elephants are attacking you owO

I wish the Adventure Time season premiere didn't end the way it did. :c

Granted, but Finn loses BOTH arms instead of just the one. >:D

I wish for more wishes!

Granted, but now you wish for scorpions and cobras to surround you :D

I wish sleeping in a tent wasn't so uncomfortable~

Granted, but now sleeping in your own bed is extremely uncomfortable.

I wish my dog could fly!

Granted, but now your dog is shaped like a kite.

I wish I could read The First Battle!

Granted, but half the book got ripped up!

I wish Hawkfrost returned!

Granted, but he's destroyed before he can do anything interesting!

I wish that wishes wouldn't backfire (Good luck >:3)

Granted, but they only work properly in an alternate universe!

I wish I could go to that alternate universe!

Granted, but it's made COMPLETELY OUT OF FISH!! (Mostly dead ones)

I wish I could meet the Team Rocket trio!

Granted, but it's the moment before their deaths. n.n;

I wish I remembered normal Dipper wanting to be with me!

Granted, but Gideon is also pursuing you now!

Ohmai D: I WISH TEAM ROCKET COULD HAVE COOL, QUICK DEATHS IN ACTION LIKE THEY WANT AND NOT DIE AS AN OLD COUPLE!

Granted, but during the process, Meowth scratches both of your arms out. (Seriously, look at those claws O___o)

I wish Jules would just deal with the fact that Dipper's MINE.

Granted, but Mabel is convinced you're a werewolf and will stop at nothing to take you down.

I wish Pokemon Hoenn Confirmed could get here sooner. owe *twitch*