Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

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Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:27 am

Prologue
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The rocks under Blossompaw’s feet stung, sending a searing pain up her paws. The greenleaf sun was merciless this year, and the only thing on RainClan’s mind was water. Blossompaw wanted nothing more than to swim in the waterfall. Unfortunately, though, she was stuck on a hunting patrol with two other cats. The thought of fresh prey was the only thing enough to make this feel worth it.
“Mistystream, when are we going back to camp?” a young, ginger she-cat groaned.
“Once we get enough prey, Ivypaw,” said Mistystream, a gray and white warrior.
Blossompaw crept away from the group, deciding to sneak into some bushes. The relief of the cool grass made her realize that, of course, it’s possible that some prey was hiding nearby to avoid the sun. She smelled a mouse hiding in a nearby bush. She swiftly lashed her paw out, grabbing it by the tail before it could escape. She dragged her catch toward her and bit down on its neck. She crawled out of the bushes to bury her prey.
The black-and-white apprentice looked carefully under another cluster of bushes. After a while of crawling and searching, she could barely see the small, reddish foot of a rodent. She reached out to pull it to her, but stopped suddenly. Upon feeling Blossompaw’s claw, the animal made a noise. And it wasn’t the noise of a rodent.
“What the…” she whispered. Were there loners on their territory? “Who’s there?” she called out.
A weak meow was the response.
The she-cat laid on her side. Her thin sides barely rose as she struggled to breathe. Her amber eyes were open, but it was clear that she could barely see anything by now. By her ribs that seemed to be the only thing giving her shape, it was obvious this cat was starving to death. Clutching onto her belly was a kitten, so small it was barely recognizable as a cat. Although it bit and clawed, Blossompaw could tell that hardly any milk was getting to it. Next to the two was a mound of dirt topped by rocks. The apprentice didn’t want to guess what was buried underneath.
Blossompaw stiffened, freezing in her spot. Cold horror spread through her; these cats were dying. She stayed still in shock and helplessness, yet something stronger than her will to stay in place pulled her forward. “Oh-- oh gosh!” she mewed, panic making her unsure of where to go. Her paws moved in a frenzy to the others.
Mistystream immediately sensed Blossompaw’s panic. “What happened?” she asked, almost hissing from worry.
“There’s-- a loner, she and her kit, she looks like she’s dying!” the apprentice spilled out as quickly as she could.
“What do we do?!” Ivypaw squeaked.
Blossompaw’s tail twitched anxiously. “I don’t know! We gotta go back and see her!”
“Take us to her,” Mistystream commanded.


Ruby lifted her head just enough to see the three cats approaching her. “What do you want?” she rasped. She wanted to dig her claws into the ground, in hopes that it would soothe her pain, but she knew she could barely lift her paw.
Her kitten meowed hungrily, biting for whatever milk she could get. I know, sweetie… I’d feed you more if I could.
“What happened?” one of the cats before her asked, getting closer to her. “What should we do?”
“Can’t do anything for me…” Ruby breathed. In her fading mind, fire raged. Walls collapsed on everything she knew. So many memories, so many little things she didn’t realize were luxuries, all taken away.
She tried her best to learn to hunt. She really, truly did.
How could you? her stomach screamed. You brought this upon yourself, ached her limbs. You never deserved anything you had, screamed her regrets.
The kitten mewed and clawed. So strong… Four kittens, lost to heat, to foxes, to the never-ending difficulties of the world. This one was still hanging on. How long will she last once her last hope is lost?
“Take her, please,” she whispered, her lungs burning. The grass seemed to disappear before her, turning into the menacing black clouds that would lead her to wherever she was to go. The mewing and clawing vanished, the horrible pain that engulfed her body loosened its grip, and, despite the beating sun, Ruby shivered.
“Are you still there?” she whispered, unable to hear herself. Only the pressure of the other cat’s body was able to send an answer.
Just before everything slipped away, Ruby was able to let only four more words escape her throat.
“Her name is Rose.”
Chapter One
Spoiler:
Rosekit stretched, looking up with tiny, blue eyes at Icepelt. Icepelt was a beautiful white tabby, and on top of that, she was also her mother! Or, one of them, at least; in the nursery, all the queens helped take care of her.
“Good morning, Rosekit,” Icepelt purred, licking the black spot on top of Rosekit’s head. “Are you ready to begin exploring the rest of camp today?”
After Rosekit had opened her eyes, the other kits were excited to start playing with her. However, for days afterwards, she was constantly just too tired to do anything. Icepelt had told her that this was normal in young kits, but Rosekit couldn’t help feeling guilty for making everyone have to wait.
Rosekit nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.”
“Finally!” mewed a voice outside the den. Stepping towards the entrance, Rosekit could see Rushkit, a gray tabby she-kit. From what she’d heard, Rushkit was always playing jokes on whomever she could.
“Oh, hi!” Rosekit squeaked.
Rushkit purred. “Come on outside, Rosekit! I’ve been wanting to show you the rest of camp! It’s sooo cool, you gotta see it!”
“Okay then! Let’s go!” Rosekit mewed, getting some energy from the other kit’s excitement.
As the two ran out into the clearing, tiny claws tapping rhythmically on the stone floor, Rosekit discovered something truly amazing. She skidded to a halt to observe what was before her. She hadn’t seen much else besides the walls of the nursery and the pelts of other cats, but her young mind was convinced this was the most glorious thing there was. Clear as air, mingled with blue, something fell consistently from the sky. Despite the frightening sounds of crashing that the falling substance made, the red she-kit thought it was beautiful.
Someone came up behind her. “I see you’ve noticed the waterfall,” she purred.
Rosekit whipped behind her to see a young-looking, gray tabby she-cat, similar to Rushkit. “Oh, hi! Sorry if I was in your way--”
“No, it’s perfectly fine,” the she-cat smiled. “I’m Silverrose, the medicine cat. And what you see there, is what makes RainClan what it is. That’s water crashing down, and it protects us. It keeps badgers from getting in, and young kits from getting out. It even feeds us! When you’re older you’ll learn to fish from it.”
Rosekit stepped closer, to get a better view of the waterfall. “Woah, what’s it like when you go through it?”
Not waiting a second after being asked, Silverrose slipped through the falling barrier effortlessly. Just as easily, she walked back, her fur turned dark gray, dripping with water. She shook herself off, sending pellets like raindrops falling onto the kits.
The droplets were astonishingly cool against the kits’ pelts. Rushkit mewed, “Wow, that feels so good! I can’t wait til I can go in there!”
Silverrose licked the heads of the two kits. “Someday soon, you will be able to. Have fun, you two.” With that, she went back to her den.
“Hey Rushkit,” Rosekit mewed. “What do you wanna do once we can get out of camp?”
“I wanna be the best hunter!” the gray kit said, dropping down into the closest thing to a hunter’s crouch that a kit could do. “When I get out there, I’m gonna catch a badger, just like the queens told us about, and it’ll be so big it’ll feed the Clan for moons!”
“Oh really?” Rosekit meowed, dropping into a similar crouch. “Well imma get a bigger badger! And everyone will be so happy that they’ll make me leader!”
“More like you’ll be deputy, cuz I’m gonna be leader first!” Rushkit hissed playfully, batting at the red kit to strengthen her point.
The two kits scampered across the stone floor, each one determined to rise victorious and live up to what they had promised themselves.
Chapter Two
Spoiler:
The two she-kits glared at their black-and-white opponent. He stepped forward with one white paw, determination in his blue, almost amber, eyes.
Rushkit grinned. “You won’t be stopping us so easily, Badgerkit!”
The black kit shook his head. “I’m not Badgerkit, I’m Rootstar! And I won’t let you destroy CloudClan!” He pounced at the gray she-kit, giggling as he did.
“Hah!” Rushkit squeaked, barely avoiding a paw swipe. “My plan won’t fail!” She retaliated with a paw swipe of her own.
Badgerkit faked a hiss. “Go back to LightningClan. Our two Clans have been strong since the beginning, Wildspirit. There’s no need to split.”
Rushkit paused in thought before delivering her response. “The forest is getting too full for two leaders to handle alone. You know what must be done, Rootstar!”
The tom kit leaped onto her, pinning her down. “Goldshimmer, help!” he mewed.
Rosekit’s ears perked. She crouched, tail brushing across the floor, and bounded into Badgerkit. “Ech--Wildspirit’s right! We need more Clans if we want to survive! I’m going to make my own, too.” She tried to hide her embarrassment at her mistake.
“Traitor!” Badgerkit hissed, before being smothered by the two smaller balls of fluff. He barely managed to escape the two kits’ grasp. “Okay, I surrender! Go and make your Clan. Just remember you’re not allowed in CloudClan ever again!”
Rosekit smiled teasingly. “Okay, we don’t need to, anyway! ‘Cause I’m gonna be Goldstar, and I’ll be the leader of StormClan!” She mentally sighed, grateful that she remembered the Clan name at the last second.
Rushkit hopped excitedly. “And I’ll change my name to Echostar and make RainClan!”
“Yeah, we did it!” Rosekit squealed. She looked at the queens for their approval.
Icepelt purred. “You must have learned a lot from Meadowrose.”
“Yeah!” Rushkit mewed. “She said we gotta know the history to become warriors, so we listened very good!”
“Very well, Rushkit,” meowed Ripplestone, the kit’s mother. The black and gray she-cat turned to Badgerkit. “And I’m glad you’ve been spending today like this.”
“Of course I am,” said Badgerkit. “This is one of my last days in the nursery, and after my ceremony we won’t share a den together for a couple moons.”
A dark gray she-kit poked her head into the cave. “Badgerkit, Silverrose wants you.”
“Okay, thanks, Troutkit,” the tom mewed, leaving the nursery. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Troutkit entered the den. “Hey, Rushkit,” she mewed, giving her sister a lick on the ear. “And hi to you too, Rosekit.”
Rosekit smiled. “Hi, Troutkit. How are ya?”
“Pretty good. Just finished getting examined.” Her ears perked excitedly. “Silverrose says I’m perfectly healthy and ready for my ceremony!”
Rushkit pressed herself against her sister. “So you won’t be able to play with me anymore?”
“What? Of course I will!” Troutkit said. “In fact, once I learn some battle moves, our games will be even cooler!”
“Yeah!” Rosekit mewed. “Besides, I’ll still be here with ya!” She shoved her friend playfully.
Rushkit swiped back at her friend and laughed. “Okay, true.”
“Ooh, I have an idea!” Rosekit squeaked suddenly. “Before you leave, we should play the biggest game of leaders ever!”
“Yeah, we totally should!” Rushkit laughed.
Troutkit’s ear twitched, hearing Badgerkit return. “Yes, we’ll do that really soon!”
“Do what?” Badgerkit meowed, padding back to the group.
“A big game before we become apprentices!” Troutkit replied. “Ooh, and maybe we could have a mossball tournament too!”
“Yeah! Kits versus apprentices!” the tom mewed.
“Hey, that’s not fair!” Rushkit ‘complained’, a smile remaining on her face.
Rosekit laughed. “I’ll take on all three of you at once!”
“Oh yeah?” Rushkit mewed, crouching. “Fight me right now!” She squeaked suddenly as she was lifted up and onto her moss bed.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit late to be fighting?” Ripplestone purred, licking the she-kit’s fuzzy fur.
Mom,” Rushkit groaned.
Rosekit meowed in protest as Icepelt did the same with her. “But I still wanna play,” she whined, yawning in spite of herself.
Icepelt brought the kit closer to her, laying her tail over her. Rosekit sighed, feeling the steady rise and fall of her mother’s breath. She could still distantly hear protests from the other kits, but she realized she was too tired and comfortable to focus. She let Icepelt’s purrs carry her off.


Last edited by Roseblossom on Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:47 pm; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : guess what more things)

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:28 am

bump

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:28 am

bump

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:28 am

bump

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sun Jun 18, 2017 1:44 am

last bump

you can comment now

also i posted the prologue

warning: it's hecking angsty idk how i came up with this

please don't get your expectations up too high, i don't think i can top whatever i just did

help

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Jewelsky on Sun Jun 18, 2017 6:41 am

THIS IS SO GOOD OMG I was not disappointed at all it's beautiful I love it
I mean not just in comparison to your old trash story but as a standalone thing it's very impressive gj ;w;
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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:12 am

aaaaaaaaaaaa thanks jules ;O; that means so much coming from you bro

hopefully i'll be able to find out what in my brain caused me to think of this and continue making stuff as good as this, hopefully?????? xD

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Fri Jun 23, 2017 8:11 pm

Chapter one's here! Obviously not as good as the prologue since these are just smol kits but what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

don't worry i plan for chapter two to be slightly cooler

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by ✦*Cometstar*✦ on Sat Jun 24, 2017 8:27 pm

I really like thissss :D Your writing's so great ahh, your prologue was killer and chapter 1's really great too, and ooh I like how Silvy's the medicine cat there <3 Almost forgot about that

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Glimmerwing on Sun Jun 25, 2017 2:59 pm

THIS IS GREAT I LOVE THIS
It's seriously written really well xD While reading it I was imagining it in my head, I kinda want to make a comic-type thing out of it now, do you mind if I do that and send it to you? (also wanted to do that with jules's and completely forgot about it, but now I'm all inspired to lol) I mean I'm not great at it but it just seems like it'd be fun
anyway this is super Swell™ so far roseh, you should be proud of it :DDD
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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Sun Jun 25, 2017 3:32 pm

Ye bro do it :D

and thank you >w<

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Roseblossom on Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:48 pm

Check it out I wrote more words

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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Jewelsky on Sat Aug 05, 2017 8:03 am

heck I don't think this story is allowed to be this good how is possible what is happen
I read this last night/this morning but I didn't understand most of it because I was so tired and it makes a lot more sense now and also is really good wow keep it up it's swell!
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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Glimmerwing on Sun Aug 06, 2017 6:23 am

Y O U W R O T E M O R E W O R D S
pffssssh my komix cannot keep up
I mean
I'm not complaining
IT'S VERY SWELL I love kits, they seem like they're hard to write. Eyeroll But you did it v well fren111 <3
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Re: Another Attempt by Rose to Write a Fursona Story (name to be changed later)

Post by Tornadostorm on Mon Aug 07, 2017 2:01 am

Why didn't I comment before?! This is too awesome to just read without saying something OoO amazing story Roseh! I can't wait to see more!

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