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This One Advertisement! XD
by Stealthy Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:56 am
This one ad I keep seeing on YouTube. This one 15-second ad. OH GOLLY. Now, it's by no means the worst commercial I've seen, but there are so many laughably wrong things in it that I just have to pick them apart one by one.
I WISH I could show you--I WISH I could even watch it again for myself--but that's another story.This will all be recounted from memory. So it won't be completely accurate. EDIT: The ad came up for me again so I took the opportunity to copy the transcript word-for word. And THAT will be used in this rant. You have my permission to rejoice. ;D
LET'S BEGIN!
Dramatic piano music (which is extremely repetitive) starts playing. A menacing shadow of a floating letter B glides along the walls of an innocent family's home at night.
A somber, depressed-sounding man speaks.
"It's dangerous. It's contagious.
It's meningococcal disease caused by the B strain, the most common cause of meningococcal disease in Canada. One form of the disease is meningitis; a rare but serious disease from which not everyone fully recovers. In some cases it can lead to brain damage, limb loss, even death."
The menacing floating B glides along the ceiling into a baby's room, hovering over its crib. The baby sees the B but doesn't do anything. Then the baby's mom comes in, turns the light on and makes the B disappear, and picks up the baby and cuddles it.
"With the addition of Bexsero, the most common causes of meningococcal disease in Canada are preventable. Talk to your doctor about how to protect your children with Bexsero, the first and only vaccine for meningococcal meningitis caused by the B strain.
Bexsero." *heart-beat*
OKAY!! Let's rattle these off one by one.
First of all, the menacing floating B cracks me up. What, you couldn't come up with something a little scarier? It doesn't even do anything. It just floats along the walls. The dramatic three notes on the piano are funny too.
"It's dangerous. It's contagious. It's....."
Gonna be something I can't take seriously because of that build up. Talk to me like a normal person why don't you?
"Meningococcal disease caused by the B strain..."
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA WHAT?? XXXDDDDDD OK... Other names of deadly horrific diseases are short and punchy. Can-cer. E-bo-la. That sounds scary. But this one has all of 12 syllables. TWELVE! And the word "disease" is in there, and the phrase "caused by the"! I get that they have to keep the name of it SOMEWHAT accurate, but I don't wanna go to my doctor asking about "so it's this long name I can't remember....meni....men....there was a floating B?" Seriously, it took me forever to remember that name, and I doubt any of you will have the chance.
"...the most common cause of meningococcal disease in Canada."
You're saying B-strain is the most COMMON cause. As in, there are other causes of the same disease. As in, specifying the disease by this one cause is REDUNDANT AND UNNECESSARY! XD I realize the product fights the B-strain, so you have to market against that cause specifically, but I can think of about three better ways to do it. All of which involve better grammatical mechanics than, "It's A caused by B, the most common cause of A." Even adding the phrase "which is" would improve that fearmongering mess by a good 20%.
"One form of the disease is Meningitis;..."
Already feeling the redundancy levels escalating in my soul. We must've heard those first six letters like three times now, and oh it's not over yet!
"...a rare but serious disease..."
It MUST be rare! You're marketing so heavily against this mouthful of a disease, the fact that you have to tell me it's rare buried in among the fearmongering means it's gotta be REALLY STINKIN RARE. And thus, nothing to worry about.
"...from which not everyone fully recovers."
Way to be vague dude. What am I supposed to be scared of? Also, most people do fully recover. They want you to be scared of being one of the rare 2 or 3 who don't.
"In some cases it can lead to brain damage..."
wat?
"...limb loss..."
WAT??
"...even death."
WAIT WAT????
'Scuze me, limb loss? Limb loss and brain damage and death?? Those are the last medical issues I would ever associate with each other! Brain damage and limb loss are such different problems, I can't take them seriously put together, and then the "even death" at the end just clinches it!! What, am I gonna have an arm fall off like a broken robot and go "Oh no, I have meningococcal disease caused by blubkfsagnbnjj hahaha lookimee I'm a birdy!!" And then die? I'm more likely to assume that I'm a robot with a plug fallen out, hence the brain damage....okay this joke was a lot funnier when I thought it was just limb loss and death, but BRAIN DAMAGE ON TOP OF THAT IS SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD OK
Actually the limb loss is referring to sometimes necessary amputation, an after effect of the B strain, not the meningococcal disease. (The brain damage is that way too but it's a lot more serious.) So this commercial is referring to symptoms this specific disease doesn't even have.
At about this point, a mom comes and rescues her baby from the menacing floating B of doom. First of all, LOL! They had to push the BABY to make you more scared! That's like showing a kitten in a tree on fire and saying "use Bexsero to save the kitten"! It's like it's saying "Think of the children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!"
Actually to be fair, this disease affects children and infants more commonly than grown ups. So I guess I can forgive it. This once.
Also the mom turns the light on and rescues the baby but she never saw the B. So what prompted her to come in? The baby wasn't crying. She had no reason to go in there, let alone pick up this baby she's put down to sleep and doesn't expect to wake up. Also this baby isn't crying. That young, in a crib, a baby's either asleep, or crying. Or JUST put down to sleep, which makes the mom's rescue make even less sense. Also...you know light switches turn off, right?
"With the addition of Bexsero..."
Cool. Another name I won't remember.
"...the most common causes of meningococcal disease in Canada are preventable." Good. Glad that happened in 2015, I guess? What with the YouTube thumbnails I saw complaining about it.
"Talk to your doctor about how to protect your children..."
THINK OF THE CHEEEELDRUUNNNNN!!!11
"...with Bexsero, the first and only vaccine for meningococcal meningitis caused by the B strain." Wait....look. They changed it! It was meningococcal disease, now it's meningococcal meningitis?? Why'd you change it, without shortening it? Now it's 14 syllables! Also meningococcal meningitis. I could be wrong but that sounds like the most repetitive part of the ad so far! Like a "nebulous nebula" or something. I realize meningitis and meningococcal disease are probably two very different things, but both of them sounding so similar and popping up so often in this one commercial can't be a coincidence. Probably.
And it ends with:
"Bexsero." *heart-beat*
So you have a chance of remembering the name. Maybe.
Also Bexsero is a vaccine. A baby vaccine for this super rare disease. I won't get into the medical and informational problems surrounding a lot of vaccines, especially how doctors push them on parents who don't want or need them but then those parents have their kids taken away because of it, and even the kid becomes sick BECAUSE of a vaccine and doctors won't admit it and give her back to her parents--but let's just say we know a lot of people who didn't have a pleasant experience with vaccines. But this is a rant for another day.
One more thing--why couldn't I show you the video? Well, for as desperate as they are to show us this ad and make us get their vaccine, they sure want to keep it off the internet! It's not on YouTube--instead there's people complaining about how sick Bexsero made them and their kids. I couldn't find it anywhere except one place...
https://adpharm.net/thumbnails.php?search=Bexsero&submit=search&album=search&title=on&caption=on&keywords=on&user1=on&user2=on&newer_than=&older_than=&type=AND
...Except when I found my ad in this search, they still wouldn't let me see it unless I subscribed to them!
Ok whatever. Let's just get a temporary email subscription so I can keep my rant up to par by showing my readers what I'm talking about.
Except...
https://adpharm.net/subscription.php
Wait WHAT!? A single login on a two-day pass is $105 Canadian plus taxes!? $965 for three logins!? $1,995 for ten!?!? What, is it cuz you think I'm gonna post an ad on there and advertising is expensive?? I just want to show my friends this ad! I thought you liked free advertising! You sure are desperate for people NOT to see the ad you made for us to buy YOUR product! Agh, I'm so confused.
Anyway, that's the fun I had with Bexsero's advertising today. Don't vaccinate your kids with it please. XD (Actually I won't tell you how to live your life. If you figure you don't want your kid's arms to comically drop off their bodies, then please, go for it. Don't let me stop you. XD)
I WISH I could show you--I WISH I could even watch it again for myself--but that's another story.
LET'S BEGIN!
Dramatic piano music (which is extremely repetitive) starts playing. A menacing shadow of a floating letter B glides along the walls of an innocent family's home at night.
A somber, depressed-sounding man speaks.
"It's dangerous. It's contagious.
It's meningococcal disease caused by the B strain, the most common cause of meningococcal disease in Canada. One form of the disease is meningitis; a rare but serious disease from which not everyone fully recovers. In some cases it can lead to brain damage, limb loss, even death."
The menacing floating B glides along the ceiling into a baby's room, hovering over its crib. The baby sees the B but doesn't do anything. Then the baby's mom comes in, turns the light on and makes the B disappear, and picks up the baby and cuddles it.
"With the addition of Bexsero, the most common causes of meningococcal disease in Canada are preventable. Talk to your doctor about how to protect your children with Bexsero, the first and only vaccine for meningococcal meningitis caused by the B strain.
Bexsero." *heart-beat*
OKAY!! Let's rattle these off one by one.
First of all, the menacing floating B cracks me up. What, you couldn't come up with something a little scarier? It doesn't even do anything. It just floats along the walls. The dramatic three notes on the piano are funny too.
"It's dangerous. It's contagious. It's....."
Gonna be something I can't take seriously because of that build up. Talk to me like a normal person why don't you?
"Meningococcal disease caused by the B strain..."
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA WHAT?? XXXDDDDDD OK... Other names of deadly horrific diseases are short and punchy. Can-cer. E-bo-la. That sounds scary. But this one has all of 12 syllables. TWELVE! And the word "disease" is in there, and the phrase "caused by the"! I get that they have to keep the name of it SOMEWHAT accurate, but I don't wanna go to my doctor asking about "so it's this long name I can't remember....meni....men....there was a floating B?" Seriously, it took me forever to remember that name, and I doubt any of you will have the chance.
"...the most common cause of meningococcal disease in Canada."
You're saying B-strain is the most COMMON cause. As in, there are other causes of the same disease. As in, specifying the disease by this one cause is REDUNDANT AND UNNECESSARY! XD I realize the product fights the B-strain, so you have to market against that cause specifically, but I can think of about three better ways to do it. All of which involve better grammatical mechanics than, "It's A caused by B, the most common cause of A." Even adding the phrase "which is" would improve that fearmongering mess by a good 20%.
"One form of the disease is Meningitis;..."
Already feeling the redundancy levels escalating in my soul. We must've heard those first six letters like three times now, and oh it's not over yet!
"...a rare but serious disease..."
It MUST be rare! You're marketing so heavily against this mouthful of a disease, the fact that you have to tell me it's rare buried in among the fearmongering means it's gotta be REALLY STINKIN RARE. And thus, nothing to worry about.
"...from which not everyone fully recovers."
Way to be vague dude. What am I supposed to be scared of? Also, most people do fully recover. They want you to be scared of being one of the rare 2 or 3 who don't.
"In some cases it can lead to brain damage..."
wat?
"...limb loss..."
WAT??
"...even death."
WAIT WAT????
'Scuze me, limb loss? Limb loss and brain damage and death?? Those are the last medical issues I would ever associate with each other! Brain damage and limb loss are such different problems, I can't take them seriously put together, and then the "even death" at the end just clinches it!! What, am I gonna have an arm fall off like a broken robot and go "Oh no, I have meningococcal disease caused by blubkfsagnbnjj hahaha lookimee I'm a birdy!!" And then die? I'm more likely to assume that I'm a robot with a plug fallen out, hence the brain damage....okay this joke was a lot funnier when I thought it was just limb loss and death, but BRAIN DAMAGE ON TOP OF THAT IS SO OUT OF LEFT FIELD OK
Actually the limb loss is referring to sometimes necessary amputation, an after effect of the B strain, not the meningococcal disease. (The brain damage is that way too but it's a lot more serious.) So this commercial is referring to symptoms this specific disease doesn't even have.
At about this point, a mom comes and rescues her baby from the menacing floating B of doom. First of all, LOL! They had to push the BABY to make you more scared! That's like showing a kitten in a tree on fire and saying "use Bexsero to save the kitten"! It's like it's saying "Think of the children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!"
Actually to be fair, this disease affects children and infants more commonly than grown ups. So I guess I can forgive it. This once.
Also the mom turns the light on and rescues the baby but she never saw the B. So what prompted her to come in? The baby wasn't crying. She had no reason to go in there, let alone pick up this baby she's put down to sleep and doesn't expect to wake up. Also this baby isn't crying. That young, in a crib, a baby's either asleep, or crying. Or JUST put down to sleep, which makes the mom's rescue make even less sense. Also...you know light switches turn off, right?
"With the addition of Bexsero..."
Cool. Another name I won't remember.
"...the most common causes of meningococcal disease in Canada are preventable." Good. Glad that happened in 2015, I guess? What with the YouTube thumbnails I saw complaining about it.
"Talk to your doctor about how to protect your children..."
THINK OF THE CHEEEELDRUUNNNNN!!!11
"...with Bexsero, the first and only vaccine for meningococcal meningitis caused by the B strain." Wait....look. They changed it! It was meningococcal disease, now it's meningococcal meningitis?? Why'd you change it, without shortening it? Now it's 14 syllables! Also meningococcal meningitis. I could be wrong but that sounds like the most repetitive part of the ad so far! Like a "nebulous nebula" or something. I realize meningitis and meningococcal disease are probably two very different things, but both of them sounding so similar and popping up so often in this one commercial can't be a coincidence. Probably.
And it ends with:
"Bexsero." *heart-beat*
So you have a chance of remembering the name. Maybe.
Also Bexsero is a vaccine. A baby vaccine for this super rare disease. I won't get into the medical and informational problems surrounding a lot of vaccines, especially how doctors push them on parents who don't want or need them but then those parents have their kids taken away because of it, and even the kid becomes sick BECAUSE of a vaccine and doctors won't admit it and give her back to her parents--but let's just say we know a lot of people who didn't have a pleasant experience with vaccines. But this is a rant for another day.
One more thing--why couldn't I show you the video? Well, for as desperate as they are to show us this ad and make us get their vaccine, they sure want to keep it off the internet! It's not on YouTube--instead there's people complaining about how sick Bexsero made them and their kids. I couldn't find it anywhere except one place...
https://adpharm.net/thumbnails.php?search=Bexsero&submit=search&album=search&title=on&caption=on&keywords=on&user1=on&user2=on&newer_than=&older_than=&type=AND
...Except when I found my ad in this search, they still wouldn't let me see it unless I subscribed to them!
Ok whatever. Let's just get a temporary email subscription so I can keep my rant up to par by showing my readers what I'm talking about.
Except...
https://adpharm.net/subscription.php
Wait WHAT!? A single login on a two-day pass is $105 Canadian plus taxes!? $965 for three logins!? $1,995 for ten!?!? What, is it cuz you think I'm gonna post an ad on there and advertising is expensive?? I just want to show my friends this ad! I thought you liked free advertising! You sure are desperate for people NOT to see the ad you made for us to buy YOUR product! Agh, I'm so confused.
Anyway, that's the fun I had with Bexsero's advertising today. Don't vaccinate your kids with it please. XD (Actually I won't tell you how to live your life. If you figure you don't want your kid's arms to comically drop off their bodies, then please, go for it. Don't let me stop you. XD)
Last edited by Stealthy on Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:01 am; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : Edited with actual word-for-word transcript!)
Stealthy- Survivor
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Jewelsky Sat Oct 15, 2016 1:05 pm
I'd never seen this ad, but oh my goodness what is this
I understand why you hate it lol what is the point
I understand why you hate it lol what is the point
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Glimmerwing Fri Nov 04, 2016 12:53 pm
posting on a thread from 20 days ago #yolopants
lol never seen that ad, I just really hate those new google ones tbh
y'know the ones that literally just scream at you
end my suffering
When I'm watching youtube they play every other video lol
lol never seen that ad, I just really hate those new google ones tbh
y'know the ones that literally just scream at you
- no:
end my suffering
When I'm watching youtube they play every other video lol
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Jewelsky Fri Nov 04, 2016 4:49 pm
oh my goodness I've never seen those either they look like nightmares
I've been getting the same walmart ads for the past maybe 4 months now? I'm tired of them please stop
there was a time when I kept seeing an ad that made me wish you could tell google "hey there bro I'm a repulsed ace of spades please stop showing me this immediately thanks" because why
and every time a new horror movie comes out I get bombarded with ads for it
let's not forget the phan ads man aren't those just swell
I've been getting the same walmart ads for the past maybe 4 months now? I'm tired of them please stop
there was a time when I kept seeing an ad that made me wish you could tell google "hey there bro I'm a repulsed ace of spades please stop showing me this immediately thanks" because why
and every time a new horror movie comes out I get bombarded with ads for it
let's not forget the phan ads man aren't those just swell
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Glimmerwing Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:48 pm
"boy oh boy can't wait to watch some eddsw--""heLLO INTernET yoU shouLd bUY the amAziing boOk is nOt on fIRe cause wHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyynot here is our emoshunal backstory which is 5 minutes long and no there is no skip button"
I am dead inside
I've been getting rhett and link ads instead of that recently though
which is nowhere near as good but owell I'll live
I never get walmart ads I don't think but the horror movie ones why
I am dead inside
I've been getting rhett and link ads instead of that recently though
which is nowhere near as good but owell I'll live
I never get walmart ads I don't think but the horror movie ones why
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Jewelsky Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:31 pm
I think at this point the only ads I get that I can actually stand are pokémon and rhett and link lol
but at least 90% of them drive me insane
phil x matt otp
… phatt
idek someone send help I'm losing all my sanity
but at least 90% of them drive me insane
phil x matt otp
… phatt
idek someone send help I'm losing all my sanity
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Stealthy Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:53 pm
I now have the accurate, full transcript for the ad. Would you guys like me to update with it? XD
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Stealthy Wed Dec 14, 2016 10:04 pm
Updated with word-for-word transcript. I tried to keep it just as entertaining as before. ;D
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Re: This One Advertisement! XD
by Jewelsky Thu Dec 15, 2016 6:30 pm
Oh goodness, I think it's even better now xDD
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