Residents of Lavender; Talking to my villagers in "Animal Crossing: New Leaf"

This thing being in the Story area, probably nobody's going to read it. But I gotta put these somewhere. These are the comedic interactions between me and my villagers in Animal Crossing. They're pretty fun to be around, and some of them are little sweethearts. <3 But, they can be a bit thick sometimes.

IF YOU HAVE ANIMAL CROSSING NEW LEAF YOU MAY POST YOUR OWN INTERACTIONS WITH YOUR VILLAGERS. If you want. [in fact please do if you can owo]

Rodney: "Hey. Hey. Hey. C'mere. Hey. Hey. C'mere. Hey.....<w<....>w>.....I have DIRT on the MAYOR!!"

Bubbles: "Oh my.....what about her? O_O"

Rodney: "OK. Get ready. Are you ready for this? OK....*hehehehe*...you're not gonna BELIEVE this.....but I've been hearing RUMORS.....that our mayor........IS A PRO LISTENER."

Bubbles: *INHAAAAALE* "NOOOO!!! NOT...A PRO LISTENER!! ANYTHING BUT THAT D:"

Rodney: "I'M NOT KIDDING! They say she does EVERYTHING she's asked to! Like that protagonist from Ella Enchanted or something! SHE'S THAT SWEET."

Bubbles: "Well......I suppose it could be worse........but yeah, that is a pretty nasty scandal....I hope nothing horrible happens to her because of it!!"

Molly: "GUYS!! GUYS I HAVE BAD NEWS! FLIP AND TEX ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!"

Bubbles: "Seriously, Molly?? That's NOTHING compared to what we know about the mayor!!"

Rodney: "YEAH! Did you hear she's a PRO LISTENER!?!?"

Molly: *INHALE* "GAHH!!! Ohh.........the horror......what are we gonna do, living under a mayor who LISTENS TO PEOPLE!?!? D:"

Me: ".........Hamphrey......h-how do you really feel about that item?"

Hamphrey: "I love it! Did you put it up for sale? I kinda wanna buy it.....should I???"

Me: "Well.....just....LOOK at it."

Spoiler:

Hamphrey: "I know I know! It's just....perfect!"

Me: "What are you going to do with it, exactly??"

Hamphrey: "Well, put it in my house, of course! I know the perfect place for it--uh, remember that pipe thing in the corner?"

Me: "That thing that ties your house together so perfectly?"

Hamphrey: "THAT'S where I'll put this."

Me: "Buddy........you seemed to have your general sense of interior decorating so perfectly together when you moved here! What happened??"

Hamphrey: "I got that arrangement out of a home improvement magazine....I didn't know what to do. I dunno...Mayor, it's your item. Why shouldn't I buy it? I mean, you're my best friend! You're making no sense right now!"

Me: "HAMPHREY. IT'S A PINK PRINCESS TOILET FOR LITTLE ONE-YEAR-OLD GIRLS WHO RECENTLY SWALLOWED VARIOUS SMALL PLASTIC OBJECTS."

Hamphrey: ".....Why did you ever have this in your possession??"

Me: "I got it from Rod--another villager. Point is, DON'T. BUY. IT."

Hamphrey: "Fine....whatever you say, pal....but maaaan, you weird me out sometimes."