Wishes Always Backfire!

Granted, but you can only fly an inch above the ground.

I wish I could move things with my mind.

Granted, but you don't have conscious control over it.

I wish I was a unicorn.

Granted, but now you don't exist. 0_o

I wish I had a tame, loyal pet jaguar that only attacked things I consciously commanded it to.

Granted, but it's illegal to own a jaguar, you go to jail for animal cruelty.

I wish I wasn't stuck in my town.

Granted, but now you're stuck on the surface of the Sun.

I wish this summer was more interesting.

Granted, but the rest of your entire life becomes extremely boring!

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying, or him falling for anyone else!

Granted, but your love was never meant to be because he is trapped in the Dimension of Animation Land forever.

I wish Wormy won the ETF elections.

Granted, but he is killed by Doctor Pooh just as he is elected.

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying, or him falling for anyone else while I lived in Animation Land with him!

Granted, but he's instantly arrested for rigging the election and spends the rest of his life in Animation Jail.

I wish my pool was clean.

Granted, but the water is gone.

I wish I could go to Toronto for the weekend.

Granted, but Dipper wins the election and bans vacations forevah.

I wish I could meet Kirby in person. (A cute little fat pink blob, with red feet,
little pink hands, the cutest eyes ever, a cute smile, and can eat anything he wants when he wants.)

Granted, but it's a person in a costume.

I wish I could visit my partner.

Granted, but it only lasts 5 seconds.

I wish it wasn't so hot here.

Granted, but you're frozen in a block of ice.

I wish I knew my class schedule.

Granted, but then they change it.


I wish this campaign would end

Granted, but another election starts up and lasts forever.

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying, or him falling for anyone else while I lived in Animation Land with him and neither of us being arrested!

Granted, but you disappear because you don't exist in Animation Land.

I wish I could lose 10 pounds.

Granted, but you lose 10 more and then 10 more and then 10 more until you lose all of your weight and cease to exist.

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying, or him falling for anyone else while I lived as an existing character in Animation Land with him and neither of us being arrested!

Granted, but Gravity Falls is canceled and he ceases to exist.

I wish I could get accepted into a school closer to my partner.

Granted, but he moves to Japan on the day you're accepted. :3

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying, Gravity Falls being canceled, or him falling for anyone else while we both lived as existing characters in Animation Land together and neither of us would get arrested!

Granted, but he looses his memory and has no idea who you are.

I wish I could be with my partner for a weekend and not get caught.

Granted, but you're banned from ever seeing him again after that weekend.

I wish I remembered normal Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying or losing their memory, Gravity Falls being canceled, or him falling for anyone else while we both lived as existing characters in Animation Land together and neither of us would get arrested!

Granted, but he's gay and only likes you as a friend.

I wish I didn't have to lie about my relationship.

Granted, but you have to lie about literally everything else.

I wish I remembered normal straight Dipper being from GF wanting to be with me as more than a friend without anyone else pursuing me, anyone dying or losing their memory, Gravity Falls being canceled, or him falling for anyone else while we both lived as existing characters in Animation Land together and neither of us would get arrested!

Granted, but Dipper's trapped in Animation Land. Making it impossible to ever seem him in person FOREVER.

I wish my cat wasn't so fat.